I would appreciate it if you would all continue to keep her, and us, in your thoughts and prayers. Special thanks to Bob, and Bob and Vickie, for planning to come out here to help us take care of her these next two weeks.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Caretaker exhaustion
It seems that many people think that my mom has made a miraculous recovery, which she has to a certain point. However, my mother is still in a bad way, although she is no longer teetering at the edge of death. In fact, it has become more difficult for us (Jill, Amy, Brian) in these last few days as her immobility, fear, claustrophobia, and depression have set in. She does not want us to leave her alone at all and she is constantly in pain, as well as having frequent panic attacks. I spent the night at the hospital with her and she didn't sleep for more than an hour or two at a stretch. She will most likely need to be in rehab here in Idaho Falls for at least two more weeks before being ready to go to Sacramento on a commercial plane.
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10 comments:
Dear Brian, Amy, and Jill,
You are definitely in our thoughts and prayers. I know that it gets harder as the adrenaline wears off, and the rigors of rehab set in. I'm sorry to hear about Janet's panic attacks. One of the reasons I don't drive even now is because 19 years later, I still get flashbacks of my motorcycle accident in Taiwan and swerve unnecessarily. Acupuncture has helped a lot, so I'm not gripping the edge of the seat when I ride in cars anymore, but that's just been in the past couple of years. When Brian and Janet get back to Roseville, I can ask my acupuncturist if she has any referrals in that area. She is wonderful and is helping me get rid of problems that I've had for 19 years on the left knee and 30 years on the right. She can even help stroke victims talk again.
I'm sorry the insurance company is kicking Janet out of the hospital. They tried to do that to my mom when she had her hip replacement. We were able to keep her in two more days by having her discharged directly to my home and having her do inhome PT for a month. Too bad that's not an option here. It seems kind of weird; I mean, a week ago we were worried she wouldn't make it at all, and she certainly has a long way to go.
Phoebe will be moving to San Francisco in July, and Joanna and Elizabeth will be taking a road trip up that way later in the summer. When they get everything finalized, they will post on your blog or contact you to let know when they could be available to help Brian out in Roseville. They had experience the year they were in Taiwan because one of their uncles was in a coma for several months after a motorcycle accident. They helped their aunt and cousins a lot during the rehab process.
I notice you found my mother's day card to you. The other card that was sent later was a birthday card for Derek. It was never opened. Do I need to resend it?
Love, Teresa Liu
Caretakers - AKA Daily Hero's
What a tough job you have I ache imagining what you must go through every day and night. The unspoken reality is that there is no "once we get back to normal" anytime soon and I am sorry for that. I do keep you all in my prayers and thoughts. Each transition will bring new challenges. It is possible that some of the medications she is on are making her more aggitated or are exagerating some less than favorable characteristics. You are all doing a fabulous job and I applaud how you have made the sacrafices to be near Janet in her initial time of healing.
Once the return is made to Roseville, I am happy to help out with visits errands, etc.
Constantly thinking of you all
Marge
PS I miss the spell check feature:)
Hansen Family:
I do understand caretaker exhaustion and burnout. Though the scariest part might be over, the hard part is just beginning. Rehab is not for sissies. And you don't get any of those really good drugs now either. And the doctors are really stepping back and leaving it almost all up to you.
Remember you can only do so much and that it is ok to ask for help--that includes nurses and doctors as long as you have access --in addition to friends and family.
The doctors were short haul help; your friends will be there for you during the long haul. You'll have some fresh reinforcements coming out soon--please know we expect you to let us do for Janet and for you to help you recharge. It is ok to need to sleep, play, smile, or just veg out. Pace yourselves to avoid exhaustion and to maintain the good cheer that Janet needs so much.
Love to all
Vickie
Hi Jill,
Are your kids still with you? They don't know our family unfortunately, but if you think they would like to spend a week near Disneyland and Hollywood and Knott's Berry Farm with us to give you a chance to rest or to intensively take care of your mom at a transition point, feel free to drop them off, if you think they could do it. Joshua is really good with kids the age of yours, and his biggest "regret" in life is that his "cute girls" got big and sassy. I can't go far from home since I need my allergy treatments twice a week, but I would love to help with your kids. Our house is huge; there would be room. And I'm not just saying this. Joshua's family is huge, and life in Taiwan is unsafe and insane, so we've helped his sister through being buried in a landslide, then everyone helped me after my motorcycle accident, then we had to help his youngest brother-in-law with his motorcycle accident. With 7 siblings it's easy to take care of things in the nuclear family, but our family just doesn't have as many kids. Second cousins and first cousins once removed work for us.
Teresa Liu
I will take the Friday phone call spot if it is still open. It will be in the evening if that works (I can't remember the times that were taken already but I remember 11:00 and then there was one other. Please email me at dorkruse@aol.com to let me know for sure that is a good time. Is 8:00PM your time good? You are all in my thoughts and I think the blog is absolutely wonderful. This is the first time I've used it and I'm still a little unsure of how it's used. I can indeed imagine this time is very difficult, indeed. I know there's a long way to go. Again, I'll be available to come to Roseville to help in any way I can when that time comes. Please give Janet my love, and love to all the rest of you.
Jill,
Your mom's recovery is nothing short of incredible, and you guys are doing great as her support system. I don’t know where you get the energy from, but if you can find a way to package it in some type of drink form (preferably a juice box) that would just be fantastic.
I hope your mom gets the package I sent. Not many folks around here know that Idaho is part of the great-48, and at last check it looks like the package is meandering through Utah. It contains a few Pittsburgh items for your family's enjoyment (although apparently they don't let original Primanti's sandwiches out of the state). I've also thrown in a few bucks so you can buy the Pirates, relocate them to Hamilton and watch them quickly become the worst baseball team in Montana. Yes indeed, it's yet another year of the ultimate "race to the bottom of the league." But who can complain when the Penguins are doing so well. Ice hockey in the summer... no, it doesn't make sense to me either.
Take care, and tell your mom that she's in our thoughts always.
Love,
Sanj
Hansens,
I'm so sorry things are not going well with Janet's recovery. I cannot even imagine how difficult this is for everybody. We will keep all of you in our thoughts and prayers.
Okay, so I had my argument on Wednesday. I was really worried about it because I have some very bad memories of judges treating me poorly. Many of them seem to be bullies, treating you very poorly because they can get away with it. Also, I have never argued in Superior Court so I figured these judges have got to be even worse than the trial court judges b/c they have more power.
So I plan to take the 7:15 train into Philly. It is supposed to arrive at 8:04 and my argument is at 9am. Plenty of time for me to leisurely walk to the building from the Septa station. It's about 5 blocks down and 3 over.....no problem. Because I had a huge file to carry, I decided to just wear my heels instead of wearing sneakers and changing. BIG MISTAKE!
As I'm traveling on the train, they announce that 2 trains in front of us are having equipment problems. So the trip into Philly is going to be a real slow one. The 8:04 train arrived at 8:41am!!
I used to work in that part of the city so I figure I know where I'm going and that it's not too far away. WRONG!! I did find the building okay but it was a lot farther than I remembered! Plus, I wasn't that fast in my heels. By the time I got to the building at 8:53, my heels were bleeding. But I'm thinking it's okay, I'm here, I just have to get upstairs.
First I'm standing at the wrong elevator, then my next elevator doesn't have a #17 button. I'm starting to freak out b/c I'm the first argument at 9AM and judges do not like it when you're late. So I say to no one in particular "Is this the Penn Mutual Building?" "Yes" "Then why isn't there a #17 button?" The answer is "you have to go to another set of elevators" UGGG!!
Okay, I get up there. I have no idea what time it is now but I know I'm running out of time. I'm supposed to sign in somewhere but I decide to skip it. When I try to check in with the Court Crier, he tells me I have to go back and sign in........UGGG! I sign in and get to my seat before the judges come out...whew! Just in time.
Out they come, 2 ladies and a man. The women have huge smiles on their faces. This is weird. They look way too happy to be judges. The one woman has such a huge smile on her face that you can't help but smile back. So the head judge begins to talk about what a great day it is. This is her first time sitting with her good friend (the other woman) since she was elected to the Superior Court, and it is Judge Tamilia's last term sitting on the bench b/c he's retiring. On and on about Judge Tamilia and his career. Then the Chancellor Elect to the Philly Bar gets up to speak, pictures with everybody, more talking, then Tamilia talks about how the court has changed and it's being overtaken by women (something he doesn't sound too happy about) and then a couple stories about various things. Finally, they get down to business around 9:20. My heels are still bleeding from the race to the courthouse, and my mouth is really dry.
They call my case, defense goes first. We only have 5 minutes to argue the case. The PD greets the Judges individually, saying "Good morning, Judge Bowes, Good morning Judge whatever, Good morning Judge Tamilia. Then onto congratulating Judge Tamilia on his illustrious career, good luck on your future endeavours. Finally, he starts his argument. He discusses the first issue, and then time is up.
I don't even really remember what I said. I do remember the head judge asking me if the trial court did commit error by overruling the objection to the DA's misstatement of the law in her closing. In my head I'm thinking "yes" but instead I say "You know judge, I've read that passage over and over, Judge Riley heard it once and the jury heard it once, and then I went on to explain what the judge said in overruling the objection. So I never really answered her question and she never really pressed me for an answer. The whole time she was very nice to both attorneys.....very weird.
So now I just have to wait and see if I won. I would be shocked if I didn't win b/c the defense brief was a mess and factually inaccurate.
Must go....a little person is waiting to get on Webkinz. Have a good day. We are thinking about you.
Love,
Leslie
Dear Jill and Amy,
Please tell your mom I am praying for her.
Love,
Kristina
Hi everyone,
The Friday group just wanted to
say hello and tell you that they
miss you.
We also feel for you and wish
that we could help. You're an
amazing family and so lucky to have
each other.
Love you
Mary and crew
Hi all, It's hard to imagine facing the recovery your mom is facing. Sounds like the adrenaline rush of surviving is fading, and the reality stinks. My mom was in ICU for a week in April. She was nearing the end of six months of chemo and was flattened out with double pneumonia. She experienced insomnia, anxiety, etc., and she needed someone to stay with her at home for almost a month until she was able to live independently. And that all seems like child's play compared to your mom's situation. So what's my point? I don't know! Just know that I'm thinking of you all. Please do continue posting both good news and bad. Let us know what you need, and ask for help. (You've been doing that, and I think it's really wonderful.) Good luck to Janet (and to her new roommate!) with all the changes.
Love, Mary
P.S. I wonder if there's a free web site that allows interactive scheduling, so that friends can add calling/visiting times to a master calendar, you can post important dates, etc. Maybe Yahoo Groups?
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